I Never Really Did Think Things Through

I'm convinced the dots around me are ghost orbs.

"I've got a twenty dollar bill that says no-ones ever seen you without make-up, you're always made up."

Dear Everyone,

So last night me, dez, and nick decided that it would be a brilliant idea to go ghost hunting. We went online and looked up local haunted areas, houses, anything that we could go check out so we could get the bajesus sacred outta us. After roughly 30 mins of tirelessly searching for something to scare us we found the legend of abq's very own Jack the Ripper. Allegedly some dude way back in the 1800's used to take prostitutes to his cave in the mountains on the weekends and kill them there and there have been reports of people hearing screaming, bodies being dragged, footsteps, and seeing a lamp being carried down one of the paths (also one site reported people being chased by "Jack" as they refer to him). So needless to say, we had to go check this one out- After a trip to walmart to make pop sickle stick crosses, get us some sea salt and some flashlights we were basically official ghost hunters.

I will admit I'm pretty sure I was the most spooked outta all of us going up there, without explaining background I'll just say I've had my fair share of brushes with ghosts and such.

To make things basic, we spent about 2 hours up there and did receive results surprisingly. Aside from the pictures we took with floating orbs in them we heard body dragging, and a couple other random noises like wheezing and I personally heard footsteps. OH! And all of us on separate occasions saw a lamp go over the top of the hill at the same spot.

Of course, we're all a glutton for punishment sooooo we're planning to go back soon. We'll be scouting it out during the day and next time the changes we'll be making will be the following

- Chris is suppose to be tagging along and i believe we need to bring one other to make it a prime #.

- We'll be going at dead time (3-5)

I'll keep you all updated on our ghost hunting in abq escapades hahah

But aside from all of that stuff I've recently decided that I'm too bitter and stressed for my age. Mainly I'm just a whole buncha stressed but I find myself being bitter more and more often lately, I wish I could control that more in myself. But never the less I am not perfect nor do I think I ever will be, so I'll have to settle for all the messes and stress induced situation I get myself into all the time, and probably use my escape of pokemon to balance them all out :]

But on a new note, I have started doing some of the drawings- expect results probably mid next week because I have so much planned for the next few days. I'm drawing Chelea and Mary currently and I'm doing a special side project with chelsea's picture. I'm also (inspired by birdy) contemplating trying my hand in painting again haha.

And for the people who read this only for this segment, BAND UPDATE:

So we've made a lot of changes recently; Me and nick have decided that we're going to make 2 covers there is talk of a 3rd but it’s not for sure yet but the 2 covers (that we plan, plan being the key word, to record tonight) will both be posted online for the fans to devour and use to crush our dreams and tell us to just give up while we're behind. Also we officially (and nick will probably get mad at me for telling you this) have finished 2 songs and are currently practicing them because we want them to be perfect and comfortable before we record the online post-able versions of them. We have 2 songs we need to finish, each one of us is lacking on one of them. And we have an idea for 2 more songs that we have done our best not to try to start because we need to finish stuff first. Also, I'll talk to nick and if he's ok with it the next time I post it will either be with the names of the songs we're going to be covering or with the covers we're suppose to record today.

Until later, bye

I've Watched This Play Out Already

"It was your world baby and I just lived in it"

The Glamours Of Recording

Dear Everyone,

So the picture of the day is titled "this is what recording looks like", and let me say- its not as glamorous as it seems. Well this is one of those late night blogs, Dez already went to sleep and we just got back from the bar- Me? well I'm waiting for Nick, Reva, and Chris to get back from ihop because they wanted to go to a sit down place. *shrugs* 

So now I'm here... Bored... trying to stay awake so I'm using all of you to keep me awake.... 

Which is also an excuse for me not to do what I'm suppose to and to keep away from writing another song because me an nick have agreed to not do anything new till we finish what we already have on the table... so i guess this is a BAND UPDATE haha

Well today we didn't record vocals like we were suppose to... we realized that we've been approaching it all wrong... we haven't been writing like a team so its been all scrambled and is lacking the essence that is us. So me and nick are currently going over every single song we've written and tweaking it- this is partially and mostly because we think that the small fan base that we've already accumulated deserves a better band... If that makes any sense? We basically think you all deserve better than us half assing it but trust me what we're doing is and will def be worth it :]

On a side note, I'm in an odd place mentally lately... I have a couple friends going through some really heavy shit and I find myself at odds ends racking my brain trying to think of just one way that i could help... I always wish i could help... I'm also slowly realizing that I cant always change or fix things, strangely this is a very difficult concept for me to come to copes with. I wish i could always make my friends problems make a 360 turn but sadly i cant... One day i hope to be able to understand how the world works and how the human mind grasps the simple things and lets go of the heavy hard and brutal realities... 

Here's to hoping right?

But i guess never the less, I'm getting somewhere. I'm getting better at the little things and soon enough I'll tackle the big things that make me twitch and such haha. But for now, those of you who are having a hard time I'm praying for you... and I'm not a super religious guy so personally that's saying a lot. But I hope everyone is having a great night. Me and Nick are definitely trying very hard to hammer something real that you can hear.... We did record a very rough version of us covering "Damned If I Do Ya, Damned If I Don't"... So I guess if you really want to hear that you can badger us enough to the point that we'll post it somewhere so you can hear it :] 

Badger Nick, He's better at decisions than me :] 

but for now, i guess i should stop rambling... so

Until later, bye

I Only Did What I Had To

"I loved you more, than I would ever dare tell you, I'd ever dare tell you."

 
(picture of the day)

 This is a two part post today, part one being the interact part and part two being the blog post where i ramble a lot.

Interact With Readers Part-
1. Send me a picture for me to draw.
2. What would you do if you won the lottery? Answer in comments.
And now on to the blog.



Dear Everyone,

Yesterday me, dez, and nick partook in playing the lottery for the first time all because of a fortune cookie. Of course we're hoping to win but i kinda have this feeling that it won’t happen but at the same time nick was picking numbers that spoke to him so who knows. Also since this sparked the interactive question i will be posting and talking about mine and your answers sometime either this week or weekend. :]

It's been really windy lately, Albuquerque has officially become the bastard offspring of chicago and all the hot deserty parts of arizona. Personally, I effin hate the wind. It's annoying, it fucks with your sinuses, and it messes with everything i try to accomplish in my whole 2 mins i spend in the bathroom before leaving the house- It’s just stupid. But i guess i should be more productive with this blog instead of just complaining about the wind.
Lately I've been having a writer’s block of sorts; every time i get on here to express myself to the few people out there who actually care to read this i clam up and just write bullshit that doesn’t make sense then i delete it and repeat the first 2 steps, Its rather bothersome. I guess my minds starting to repeat my natural problem of hiding when it begins to be noticed creatively or really at all i suppose haha.

I have noticed recently a lot of things that I thought were laid to rest months or even years ago are starting to come back, I guess it just proves that you can never really bury the skeletons in your closet right? It’s really got me to start thinking about the heavy handed feelings like regret and denial its especially gotten me to start second guessing myself on a lot of those decisions I’ve made in the past couple years pertaining toward old friends that I’ve lost. Mainly it just makes me sad, but it’s still enough to get ya melancholy in my opinion.

But I have been going out of my way to try and just stay positive about everything in life, Also (BAND UPDATE) I decided a couple days ago the album (the rough album) will be done (recording wise) by the end of the weekend. I'm going to be finding secluded moments so i can just belt out some vocals and see where i might and might not want the songs to be going. Then as soon as that’s done the vocals will be recorded and the songs will be posted. Nick does have a couple of random things to do as far as writing a new chorus or bridge (also he still has to write the whole guitar part for kira) but I'm gonna kick him into gear with some red bulls and get him going like a maniac! It’s going to be awesome. It will definitely have to wait till the weekend though because currently I'm in really inconvenient hours at work so I have very little time to do much of anything aside from sleep and eat. But the album will go on gosh darnit!

And for those of you who have gotten this far in this blog post I again will ask for pictures of your to draw, I get bored at work and nick told me to hold off on the song writing because at that point I had 6 songs and he only had guitar for like 2 of em (because i write lyrics for one and he couldn’t get a good feel for how to make the guitar) but still. Now i need to do something so I’m going to start drawing again which requires that i have something TO draw... So send em.

Also I'm thinking about planning a road trip or a camping trip who's in and where should we go?
On that note I’ll be taking my leave so
Until later, bye.

Cardigan Weather

"Well I’m stuck in this fucking rut
Waiting on a second-hand pick-me-up
And I’m over getting older"



(Sorry today there will be no picture of the day for the simple reason that I saw nothing that deemed fit to take a picture of... yes it’s one of those days.)



Dear Everyone,


I had broken sleep and broken dreams last night, all of the things that were said among my dreams and all the things i thought I’d heard between waking and rolling... well let’s say I woke up in somewhat of a drunken stupor when i got up at 4:15 this morning and in my opinion that’s no way to start off a morning much less a week. I'm in a weird mood because of it.


Everything in life seems to be going by so fast lately, and in that realization I've come to the following conclusions:
-I hate my job
-I need to be more proactive
-There's not enough minutes in the day (in this realization i decided that at some point between the age of 10 and 21 someone started to take a couple of the hours in my day that used to be there and they do this on a daily basis when I’m not paying attention.)
-I'm looking for something
-And I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.


I'm wasting too much time trying to slow things down instead of just trying to keep up or maybe the other way around but either way, which of the two is the way I’m supposed to go about this? I've been adding a lot of new things that i used to do back into my life and I'm pushing so many other things aside without even realizing it, I can hardly even notice anymore. The rubber band that I've become is starting to tether and tear instead of keep everything together.


I wrote a song in my drunken stupor the other night, I still don’t know what it means- I was telling nick when i read it the next morning that I wished I could go back to the previous night and talk to myself about it among other things, he just sorta laughed at me. I personally think that the "you" that you really are, like the "you" that’s driven by your untainted and untamed thoughts and emotions comes to the surface when alcohol dilutes the logic, reasoning, and fears that we have to keep them in line.
The easiest way to really let go is to trick yourself into doing it.


I'm afraid of what my life is bringing to the table, but at the same time I can’t see 5 feet in front of me so why should i care? I mean if it hits me it’s not like I’ll notice until I'm on my back saying "What the Fuck was‘that?"
So I'll try to let life bring what it will and I'll try harder now (that I’ve realized I'm doing it) to let life hit me in the face, maybe it'll knock some sense into me.


I guess I should move past my ranting’s and get onto other things like the band. (BAND UPDATE) 4 out of 5 tracks have been recorded (musically), I can’t take credit for this due to the fact that Nick has been doing it all on his own in my bathroom while I'm at work. All the guitar and clapping and knee beats are now in a couple horribly rough tracks. I have the lyrics all written, but I’ve been neglecting taking the tracks to the side and finding out how i want the vocals to sound. I'm probably just afraid of failing or of my voice or whatever, but i can say I’ll be moving past that as soon as i can even if i have to force myself kicking and screaming. Nick still has to do the guitar on Kiera though so don’t go acting like he's all high and mighty and monumentiously(sp?) greater than me!! (I'm such a tattle tale) But right now mostly the ball is in my court. (I'm actually supposed to be recording the vocals today... we'll find out tomorrow is that actually happens.)


Also on a side note since I’ve been on such a stand still on the comic (I've been rather distracted with the pokemon game that i try to secretly play in my spare time in order to feed my inner nerd since I haven’t been keeping up on my comics lately) I've decided I'm going to try my hand at drawing portraits. So for the moment I ask that you send me pictures of you or your friends or anything really to draw and I’ll post the results on here and send it to you or give it to you after I’m done. :]

So now that I've rambled, updated and asked favors I suppose I'll leave you all empty, contemplative(hopefully),  and egger. so i guess...
Until later, bye.

Every Nights Another Song

"No one can catch me, the way that you catch me the
Way that you keep me when I'm out of time."



picture of the day


Dear Everyone,


In case anyone was wondering, it is in fact a Meg and Dia kind of week. If you havent heard them before punch yourself in the face then go look em up because they're basically amazing.


Ok and now that I'm done ranting over MAD on to the blog. Today has been a kinda odd day, probably because of the oddness of last night. It just had an odd feel to it, like something out of place was going to happen at any mintue... But of course nothing happened- uneventful as usual. The picture of the day is the song I wrote yesterday, it also has my super cool panda picture on it at the top with another picture of something i wanna say is a jinx type thing from pokemon?


I dunno, I get bored easily O.o
But! (BAND UPDATE) we have a new song in the works and the first chance we get we're going to record it, not to mention we are going to have a big ol' writing cram-ig day on saturday where we will hopefully finish the "happy sounding song", "the song from the other day that i messed up the lyrics on" and "kiera?"!!! Nick came up with an awesome guitar riff for the new song last night as well (the new song is called even seasons change) and i finished the lyrics and then did everything i could to not let it be influenced by MaD cover of ignition because it was stuck in my head all night (like i said, its a meg and dia kinda week)


Still no updates on the comic but as soon as i get a page or anything done for that matter it will probably be the picture of the month :] But yesterday I found my camera again! so expect me to be posting tons of new pictures of all the exicting things i do with all of my super awesome friends!~!!!!
Yup but i suppose ill call this to an end, sorry not much was said but tomorrow or the next day will make up for it! so
Until later, bye.

The Weather's Fair

"My Ugly mouth, Turn it all inside out. Wanna tell you I love you, all I'm hearing is monsters saying, 'Get out, Get out, Get out.'"

(picture of the day)

Dear Everyone,


So far today has been an odd yet swell day, weather is fair- gloomy but nice to look at. I fell asleep with far too much on my mind and I woke up with far too little sleep...


I have my reservations and of course I have my swollen head that I feel like I constantly need to drain of at least a quart of "thought juice", but to be down in the nitty gritty I'm slowly starting to wonder how I expect myself to pull everything I keep loading upon myself off. The band, the art, the social life, the work life, the home life, the recording, etc. the list goes on and on- I haven’t even really slept in days, and when I say I haven’t slept I don’t mean I’ve become an insomniac I more mean that my free time is spent sleeping... like I have to arrange time in my day to be able to let myself rest and when I do manage to pull off such a feet I end up sleeping restlessly and feeling like I simply never slept at all.


I guess this blog is becoming a story of my life, how difficult it is to be starting a band and writing a comic and blah blah blah blah
Mostly about how well I can complain and be drained of every last smidgen of energy that is in my body and still get up every day to do it again. I can say confidently that i want an energy drink at this point. Going to bed after the sunset and waking up before the sunrise loses its appeal after... well it never really had appeal to begin with just rules. But working class heroes need to bring home the moneys.


Speaking the band though (BAND UPDATE) - We've gotten 1 song done, 3 half done, and one fuck off track recorded. We began and finished most of one yesterday, the bass still needs to be written but it’s a work in progress. I'm currently actually supposed to be writing another new one right now but I can’t seem to find the exact words for what I'm feeling for the next song... I want it to be poetic if that makes any sense, or how nick put it I want to paint more of a picture than i have been for at least half of the songs-I want to test myself lyrically.


And comic update need not exist due to the fact that i have not done anything with it lately (yes, i know, I’m a slacker). But we hope to be finishing one track (recording and everything) by the end of this week which would mean that it will make its way to the internet world so i guess it will be listening able. :]
But i think this may be the end of today's blog, at least for now.
Everyone take care and
Until later, bye.

Polaroid Picture

"I don't even know you, you won't even know I'm gone."

Dear Everyone,

This is my new shiny toy of the week, sharing myself with the cyber world. So I suppose that means I should share a few things about myself with you:

I’m a creative sack of shit

I’m insecure

I have a wife and a dog

I’m the half time singer and most times lyricist in a band

I’m writing a comic book based off my life

I’m a sometimes poetry slammer

I like the idea of coffee and a cigarette in the morning even though I’m not fond of coffee

I’m allergic (mostly in my head) to tomatoes

And I always wear 3 things: A bracelet (Currently silly band given to me by Lily and Erica), A Necklace (Currently a glass piece given to me by my best friend Laura) and my wedding ring (given by my wife Desiree… duh)

And now that we’re done with the introductions I will begin by apologizing for the lack of anything on this page at the moment, Internet was been scarce and hard to come by lately. I created this because I want to document my life in some sort of way, I want an outlet from the things in the world that don’t seem to ever really… let up. So that’s what will be the prime subject matter of this blog, life and its ever twisted and ever turning prospects and realities. I hope my ramblings will someday entertain some of anyone who reads this.

Until Later, Bye.