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| Why yes, yes that is my foot |
Dear Everyone,
Well friends, family, people I don't know- this is me posting a blog in order to attempt to not disappear for forever again (which is a month in matthew time) so hello.
Lately I've been going through a lot of changes (cha-cha-cha-changing) with my new realization of my own mortality, Somethin in your head just starts clickin differently when a doctor tells you that you aren’t healthy (among other things) anymore. I honestly didn't know how to react when I got outta the hospital- it was surreal to look at everything again haha it felt like my eyes had a sepia lens on them or something and everything around me (metaphorically of course) resembled glass, I had to be careful of everything including how I treated myself. My life began to consist of 5 pill bottles, daily check ins, channel surfing, body aches, and an overwhelming appetite attached to a very small stomach that had been shrinking over the past 2 weeks due to my not eating before going into the hospital.
I spent most of that time just sitting around pondering life, I went through all the fun stages of grieving as if the doctor told me that I had a week to live or something basically because I didn’t know what else to do not to mention I had seen it on enough movies that it made sense to try it. Surprisingly it turned out for the best, I ended up "bettering myself" (being the only way I know how to describe it). I kinda just threw myself into art and friends, I think it was the fact that I decided I didn’t want to waste anything anymore. It was hard at first, not dwelling I mean, but thanks to a few people (Dez, Laura, Mel, Stefunny and my parents mainly) I kinda did the whole bounce back thing.
It's nice; I feel less bitter and less like I'm holding on to frivolous things that I can't control. I feel like I'm happier- not feeling 100% but I'm happier with things and the things I'm not happy with I'm not afraid to try to fix anymore. I've already begun the process of re-building bridges and sifting through the riff raff of people and things in my life, making up my mind on who really wants to be there and who I want to be there. I'm over all the half ass bullshit.
But onto the artsy stuff (!)
-I'm currently designing a book cover for my friend Mary who is getting published (congrats to her). It's still very much in the works but I will keep you updated on it (the cover and the book) as things progress.
- I'm thinking about picking up painting because I've always wanted to and what better time than now? I mean shit it’s not like I'm gonna live forever
- I'm FINALLY contemplating starting the comic again (this is the back burner of the art projects because I'm less of a story telling mood and more of a just creating shit mood)
- And lastly of course as always the BAND UPDATE:
Well... me and nick never talked but from what I know (this is what he said he was thinking about doing when we last talked on this phone) he took the material he wrote on the guitar while in SWK and took it all to his new band so who knows what’s gonna happen or what already happened to SWK I'll keep you all updated if me and him get a chance to talk.
But never the less my side-project-turned-band is moving along quite nicely, the band name is still up in the air but I think that’s kinda the last thing we're worrying about haha. Currently I've been doing most of the writing 7 songs are on the table. 7 have lyrics, 5 have guitar, a couple have drum and bass parts but I'm not sure if those are going to get changed by the new talent haha I've recently found a bassist and drummer who are hopefuls for being in the band but I'm still holding off on announcing it till we have a few practices and see how well it works out between us. I can say I very much enjoy this project I'm working on, I especially like how the writing process is going with this band, it makes me look back at SWK and wish I had done things differently- I love being able to work on all aspects of the band and not just lyrics while someone else does all the music, in my opinion it makes the songs flow better together because then it’s not like getting two ideas and squishing them together till they fit it’s more like starting with something and adding to it until its finished. The downfall to the new project for you who care to hear it is that I'm going out of my way not to rush it; I don't want it to be all hype and pass arounds without a backbone so nothing will be getting posted on FB or various other sites till things are solid. For example I won’t be making a band page for it until we have at least 3 songs recorded. But don't expect that to take too long, I already have a decent amount of people who want to help with getting a couple songs recorded and keep tuned for the dates of some smaller shows that should be happening soon :] oh and thank you everyone who has been supporting me through all of this- You deserve a lifetime of cookies.
Oh and happy birthday shoutouts to Chelsea Epic and Mel Baca
Congrats on graduating to my cousin chris, cousin nick, and to my molly girl angie
But yeah I think that’s all for now...
Until later, bye
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