Waiting For The Summer to End Since Fall's Already Begun

I miss hipster laura

"I only said it 'cause I know what it's like to feel burned out, it gets you down. We've all been there sometimes. But tonight I'll make you feel beautiful once again."


Dear Everyone,
So I'm back to acting like my life is exciting and in turn writing about it to make you believe that its true, so hello. A lot has happened obviously, I'll attempt to make a short but sweet explination.

Blurry nights and allyways, Artistic outlets, Strange holidays, Health bounces and revilations, A new year, Found something old but amazing that has changed my life for the better, A lot of roadtrips-(subgroup: LA- Beaches, comics and great company. Las Cruces- Warped, I MET AND TALKED TO TAKING BACK SUNDAY and saw a lot of amazing bands. Vegas- Perfection but far too short.)

Thats about the just of it without getting into the current to much which is what I will talk about now since thats kind of what I used to do.

So the past two months (since the road trips ended mid july) have been interesting but I wont get into a retrospective ideal on it since the blog will now be mostly used for the purpose of a journal instead of a peak into my bands and life but interesting mostly means that I said bye to a lot of really good friends, including "hipster" laura(pictured above). I can say I had a lot of amazing moments though.

I'm going to be moving into my new place by the end of this month with my friend Stephanie which should be nice and hopefully a lot better than my last living arrangment. It will be crazy antics and artistic discovery on the daily which is something you can expect to be in here from time to time.

I'm sorta at an inbetween spot in a lot of things that I would like to write about though so I'm gonna not half hearted explain them until I can fully convey them so sorry, I'm slowly realizing this post was slightly immaturly written emotionally but I'm kinda trying to get back into the swing of all my social networks so please forgive me- I'll cut this short with a 10 min free write from earlier today and return with full well thought out thoughts.
Also lastly-since the death of Secrets Worth Keeping I've began a new side project with a friend of mine so expect updates on that when they exist.

I’m attracted to danger like a fly falling in love with the light that fry’s I want to taste the world when with sweetener, when my hearts racing and I’m free falling colliding with her words. I want to lose control like it’s virginity, unprepared and emotional- reckless abandon as my security flakes off leaving a trail mix like path that I doubt I’ll ever trace back. I want to light my eyes on fire and see what remains so I know what I’m after and when they ask if I’ve gone mad I can lie through the laughter.

 

 

Until Later, Bye

It's Just Time

"I'm wearing the smile you gave me."

"I can’t move on and I can’t stay the same, and all my friends say…"
 
 
Dear Everyone,
 
It's been a while since I did anything on here but I'm here simply to say I will be making an honest attempt to start visiting here and posting on at least a bi-weekly basis. With that said, I hope you'll settle with a poem until the first actual post which should be coming along later this week- toodles
 

“Please don’t touch me, understand I’m hurt.” She said and like a dying wish my hand fell. We used to stand tall and happy, ripe with hope and anyone who looked in our eyes could tell you we were in love even if we acted like it was our biggest secret. Still sometimes things change cuz now we’re wearing layers like we’re afraid everything even the wind can hurt us… hands and eyes mislabeled twitchy and empty so we won’t forget in fear and faith anything can happen. But we weren’t always broken, we once stood tall and happy ripe with dreams- We used to edge into our future for fun, testing waters and enjoying what we tasted until the future became addictive and overnight you became my girl… We spat out secrets and kept note of how faces shifted to show intentions like “what’s wrong” and “nothing really” and “why won’t you tell me?” But what can I say that won’t make you say “maybe you shouldn’t stay…” when I’m a mess with a mirror and you weren’t fairing too well from the start? I’m not selfish just easily distracted and honestly scared you’d rather live without this and normally I would have laced up my sneakers some time ago but you’re not just someone I can run from… ya see, we used to stand tall and happy ripe with simplicity as it was the easiest thing to be with you watching snow storms from windows on valentine’s day or spend drunken nights dressed up like cloak and dagger telling tales you share with only your best friend… You always knew just the right ingredients to make me want to fly even when I didn’t, you still do. And I keep getting lost daydreaming lately wondering if you remember why you fell in love with me and if you still trust me… Cuz you still line the walls in my dreams telling me “don’t give up” kinda things and I trust you so I’m listening…

Until Later, Bye

If you woulda told me the truth we’d be alright

Late nights with headphones

"This isn’t a story about how girls are evil or how love is bad, this is a story about how I learned something"

So I wrote this down with you in mind, I took out a loan on my free time. And I know I’m repetitive it’s because I haven’t made it yet- I haven’t found a road just yellow bricks with a note saying “make your own”. And it gets so hard sometimes trying to make a dime and free up some time without having to worry about walking straight lines. And I’m sticking to sidewalks and avoiding long talks because honestly I’m getting bad with honesty, I don’t want to give friends an opportunity to turn back stabbing into a trend. See I just want to breathe and not break apart piece by piece, not have to find a way to cover my feet but I’m probably just tearing myself up over nothing it’s not like friendships worth a pussy, right? It’s not like a girls ever been the reason for a fight- you’d think I wouldn’t have to worry about these things. But my walkman keeps me walkin and my past never lets me stop movin- Because I know what staying still can do to a guy like me or a girl you but I’m not suppose to talk about this, this part is censored by doors and moods so let’s move on the part where I go home to deal with aches, take some pills and let my mind stray. For a guy like me nothings ever enough, nothing’s ever change, I can write this down 100 times and my mind still leaves it plastered on the inside of closed eyes. And I know I need to take what I say to heart but life’s not a painting and I’m really only good with art but from what they say realizing it is the hardest part so where do I go from here? I know I have problems but if you woulda told me the truth we’d be alright but now it’s different I can’t keep you around without thinking the shit coming out of your mouths a lie… And this isn’t even about you, it’s about all of them, like notches on my bed post secretly meant for friends.